Daring Cooks: Ricotta Gnocchi

So when I saw the first challenge for the new Daring Cooks group, I couldn't help but groan. What is it with people and Italian food? Can we please cook something else? I hate Italian food. But like a good little daring foodie, I marched right out to the grocery store to round up some ricotta cheese. Unfortunately a trip to the farmer's market was not in my immediate future, so I had to make do with some Sargento ricotta. But I splurged and got full fat! That helps make up for the fact it was sitting on the shelf for at least a week before I bought it, right?

Well, the first step in the instructions says to drain the ricotta. In a big strainer. Or cheesecloth. Neither of which my kitchen has. So off I went to the overpriced but very lovely cook's emporium store to round up some cheesecloth. Luckily they carried it, and I was able to set up a draining contraption in my refrigerator. Just to be good and safe, I left that cheese to drain for almost a full 24 hours.

Tonight I pulled everything out and whipped up the dough. I put in fresh sage leaves from my little Aerogarden, ground nutmeg, and fresh grated lemon rind. It actually looked and smelled pretty good. Then I slowly made all the little gnocchi, laying each delicately on a piece of waxed paper. I tossed one volunteer into the simmer water to test out. It held together and floated (as I prayed), and when I pulled it out, it seemed okay. But as I reached for a spoon to taste it, it slowly started to disintegrate on the plate.

Glaring at the hateful gnocchi, I re-read the directions, which stated that if your gnocchi refused to stay in one piece, you could either 1) add 1 tsp of egg white (which personally seemed like a waste of an overpriced free range happy chicken egg), or 2) stick them in the refrigerator for an hour. At this point it was already 7:30 and past my dinnertime, but I stuck them in the fridge and waited. As soon as the hour was up, I whipped them back out and stuck them in the boiling water.

I had a frying pan full of tender turkey Italian sausage and sauteed shitake mushrooms in browned butter waiting for the gnocchi when they made it out of the pot. I slapped them into the frying pan before they could disintegrate on me, only to find that despite a heavy hand with the butter, they insisted on sticking to the bottom of the frying pan. Boy, was I irked. I managed to scrape some off the pan and into a bowl for a nice beauty shot before trying some of my creation.

These things stopped me cold. What was in my mouth was very unpleasant. They were light and fluffy, but also slimy and strange. And immediately the perfect description came to me. It was like eating boogers. Nasty. Never again. My ricotta is staying in lasagna where it belongs.