Bacon-Wrapped Jalapeño Popper Stuffed Pork Tenderloin

My brother-in-law has a bit of a pig problem.  Wild pig, that is.  They rampage over his and my sister's property, tearing everything up and having a million baby pigs.  So occasionally some delicious wild pork products end up in my freezer.  At that point you have to do the pig justice, so I found this absolutely revelational way of cooking a pork tenderloin.  It's rich and spicy, with slightly candied bacon on the outside.  I found it hard to stop popping pieces in my mouth.  Even if your pork happens to come from the grocery store, this recipe will make it magic.

Bacon-Wrapped Jalapeno Popper Stuffed Pork Tenderloin

2 pounds pork tenderloin

1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese

2 tablespoons dry ranch seasoning

2 jalapeño peppers, finely chopped

1 pound applewood smoked bacon

2 tablespoons dark brown sugar

Preheat oven to 400°F.  Lightly oil a baking dish or roasting pan.

Cut a slit, lengthwise, down the center of the pork tenderloin to within ½-inch of the bottom, being careful not to cut all the way through. Open the tenderloin so that it lies flat and cover with plastic wrap. Flatten to a ½-inch thickness by gently pounding with the flat side of a meat mallet, starting from the middle and working outward. Remove plastic wrap.

In a small bowl, combine the cream cheese, ranch seasoning, and chopped jalapeño pepper.  Mix well.  Spread the cream cheese mixture over the flattened pork, then, working from the long side, roll the pork up.  Place in a baking dish, ensuring the open end is on the bottom.

Weave the bacon strips into a crosshatch pattern, if desired (see instructions here).  Lay the bacon over the pork roll and sprinkle with the brown sugar.  Rub the brown sugar into the bacon to ensure it adheres.

Roast until the bacon is crispy with the fat rendered, and the pork is done (165°F on a thermometer), about 30 to 45 minutes.  Let sit for about 10 minutes before slicing and serving.

Makes 4 to 6 servings

The Chunky Chef: Homemade Freezer Pickles

One time when I went to a family event, my sister brought out these little pickles for us to snack on.  And I thought, okay, it's pickles.  But then I tried one.  And there was something so addictive about them.  And I found myself eating more of them.  And more.  And then it was like I only wanted pickles.  So I asked for the recipe.  And I made a big batch just for me.  And yes, I had pickles for dinner tonight.  I am not ashamed, although I probably should be.

Note: I used a mandoline to get perfect even slices, but these pickles probably won't last long enough for that to matter.

Homemade Freezer Pickles

Adapted from The Chunky Chef blog

1 pound mini pickling cucumbers, thinly sliced
1 red onion (approximately ⅓ pound), peeled and thinly sliced
1 tablespoon kosher salt
1 cup granulated sugar
½ cup apple cider vinegar
1½ teaspoons mustard seed
1½ teaspoons celery seed

Add cucumbers and onions to a large non-reactive mixing bowl. Sprinkle with kosher salt and stir to combine. Let sit for 1 hour. Transfer mixture to a colander to drain, then rinse to remove excess salt. Wipe out the same mixing bowl, then add drained and rinsed cucumber mixture back to the bowl.

In another small mixing bowl, combine sugar, apple cider vinegar, mustard seed, and celery seed. Stir together to combine. If the sugar isn't mixing well, add bowl to the microwave (make sure it's microwave-safe!), and heat for 30 seconds or so, until the sugar will dissolve into the vinegar when stirred.

Pour liquid over the cucumber mixture in the bowl and stir to combine. Cover tightly and refrigerate for 1 full day. Transfer freezer pickles to freezer-safe containers and freeze for up to 6 months.

To eat: Thaw pickles out in the refrigerator overnight. Once thawed, pickles should be eaten within 2 weeks. Enjoy on their own, on top of a burger, on top of hot dogs, on top of sandwiches, or however you'd like!

Note: Pickles can be frozen in glass containers (leave about ½-inch of headroom at the top to allow to expansion), plastic containers, and freezer-safe resealable plastic bags.

Makes approximately 3 cups

The Kitchenista Diaries: Smothered Oxtails

I've had a pack of oxtails in my freezer for a little while, just waiting for me to find a recipe that would bring out all of their fantastically delicious flavor (they've been waiting a while now).  I had tried fancy recipes that used wine and all sorts of aromatics, but I just wasn't loving them.  So this time I decided to go bare bones, down home, how-does-your-mom-make-it, and it was fantastic.  Best oxtails I've ever made.  Funny how that works.

Smothered Oxtails
Adapted from The Kitchenista Diaries blog

4 pounds oxtail, trimmed of excess hard fat
1 tablespoon Kosher salt, more to taste
½ cup all-purpose flour, divided

2 tablespoons Greek seasoning, divided use
2 tablespoons canola oil
2 sweet yellow onions, such as Vidalia, Noonday, or Walla Walla, sliced
1 whole head garlic, top sliced off

1 bay leaf
2 cups chicken stock

2 cups beef stock
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce

2 tablespoons Kitchen Bouquet browning sauce

Toss the oxtail pieces in salt and let sit for an hour at room temperature. Combine the flour with one tablespoon of Greek seasoning, and stir to combine.  When ready to cook, pat the oxtail dry and toss in ¼ cup of the seasoned flour. Heat a Dutch oven over medium heat.  Add the oil to coat the bottom of the pot. Brown the oxtail on all sides, taking the time to allow it to get crusty. This will take at least ten minutes, but more if you need to brown the oxtail in batches. Don't crowd the pot, otherwise, they'll just steam.  Control your heat so that the meat browns without the oil burning. If you're done browning your oxtail and the bottom of the pot is blackened, it's better to clean it out before proceeding, or it could impart bitter scorched flavors into the gravy. The goal is to have lots of crusty browned bits in the pan, which is where your flavor starts, so control your heat.

Place the browned oxtail pieces in the bottom of the crock of the slow cooker. Reduce the heat to medium-low. You should have quite a bit of fat left in the pot, but if not add oil or butter to get to about two or three tablespoons. Add the onions and sauté until translucent, then the remaining 1 tablespoon of Greek seasoning, garlic, and bay leaf. Fry the aromatics for a minute, until fragrant. Sprinkle the onions with the remaining seasoned flour, then stir to coat. Cook the roux for a few minutes until bubbly and light brown.

Pour in your chicken and beef stocks, Worcestershire sauce, and browning sauce, scraping up the fond at the bottom of the pan.  Bring the liquid up to a boil. Once the liquid comes to a boil, carefully transfer it to your slow cooker. Cook on high for 6 hours, or on low for 8 to 10 hours, depending on the size of your oxtail pieces. Once the meat is fully tenderized, remove it from the pot. Discard the bay leaves. If you see a ton of oil floating at the top, skim it or drag a piece of bread across to soak it up. Oxtail renders a ton of fat, but the flour helps to keep most of it in the gravy. Squeeze out the garlic and mash it against the side of the pot before whisking into the gravy. If the gravy is too thin, let it cook longer to reduce. If it's too thick, thin it out with water. Give the seasoning a final taste for salt and pepper before returning the oxtail to the pot to warm through.

Makes 4 servings

Allrecipes: Unbelievable Rolls

I don't make bread that often, because let's be honest - it's a pain.  You have to keep waiting for the yeast to do its thing, and poking the dough and punching the dough and kneading the dough.  It's a whole thing (and why I invested in an electric breadmaker).  But when I saw how easy this recipe was, I had to try it.  No way it worked.  Guess what?  It works.  And the rolls are super tender and delicious.  Recommended for bread atheists.

Note: I actually used half-and-half instead of milk, so that additional fat may also have helped make these super tender.

Unbelievable Rolls

Adapted from Allrecipes

¾ cup whole milk
¾ cup water
½ cup granulated sugar
2 large eggs
5 teaspoons active dry yeast
5 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon kosher salt
½ cup unsalted butter plus 2 tablespoons, melted, divided use

In a medium saucepan over medium heat, warm milk, water, and sugar to 110°F to 115°F.  Remove from heat, and mix in the eggs and yeast.  Measure flour into a large bowl and stir in salt.  Make a well in the flour, and pour milk mixture into it.  Do not stir.  Cover with plastic wrap, and let stand for 20 to 30 minutes.

Pour ½ cup melted butter into flour mixture, and mix well. Add more flour if too sticky. Knead lightly. Cover again, and let rise for another 20 to 30 minutes.

Punch down the dough and shape the dough into rolls, approximately 3 ounces each, and place on a baking sheet on in a 9x13-inch baking pan. Cover and let rise for 20 to 30 minutes.

Preheat oven to 400°F.  Bake rolls for 15 minutes, or until done.  Brush rolls with remaining melted butter.  Serve hot.

Makes 16 rolls

The Defined Dish: Blackened Red Snapper

My favorite grocery store is having a Texas-themed shopping week, and as part of that effort, they've sourced some fresh red snapper from the Gulf of Mexico.  I was, of course, all in on this situation, but once you have a delicious piece of fish, you have to actually DO something with it.  I decided that if I was going to eat some gulf seafood, I needed to do something gulf-y to it, which immediately means doing some good ol' Cajun blackening.  This recipe turns out a pretty fantastic rub, and it's really not that hard to get the blackened crust, but maybe unplug your smoke detector before you try it.  Talking from experience.

Blackened Red Snapper

Adapted from The Defined Dish blog

For the seasoning mixture:
1 teaspoon kosher salt
½ teaspoon freshly cracked black pepper
¼ teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 teaspoon paprika
½ teaspoon dried thyme
½ teaspoon dried oregano
¼ teaspoon garlic powder
¼ teaspoon onion powder

For the fish:
1 pound red snapper filets
2 tablespoons canola oil
1 lemon, cut into wedges (for serving)
fresh parsley (optional for garnish)

In a small bowl, combine all of the seasoning mixture ingredients and stir until well combined.

Generously coat the flesh side with the seasoning mixture.

Heat 2 tablespoons of oil in a large non-stick skillet over medium-high heat. When oil is shimmering swirl the pan so that the oil evenly coats the bottom of the skillet. When very hot, place fish filets flesh side down, cook, without touching, until a dark brown (or blackened) crust has formed and the fish is almost cooked through, about 6 minutes.

Flip the fish onto the skin side press down with the back of a spatula to flatten the filet and the skin is flush with the skillet (it tries to curl). Continue to cook until the fish is cooked through, or completely opaque and flakes easily, about 3 more minutes. Carefully, using a sturdy spatula, transfer the cooked fish to plates and serve with a wedge of lemon and garnish with fresh parsley (if desired).

Makes 2 servings

Mississippi Pot Roast

There's recipes all over the internet for this particular dinner, which is partially why I avoided making it for so long.  That was dumb of me.  This is a delicious dinner, and it takes almost no effort.  And it doesn't heat the whole kitchen up, which is another win.  I made mine a little spicier than usual because I picked up a packet of spicy ranch by accident, but it was honestly pretty good, so that's also an option if you like the spicier side of life.

Mississippi Pot Roast

1 (3 pound) beef chuck roast, trimmed of excess fat
8 pepperoncini peppers
1 (1-ounce) packet Ranch seasoning
1 (1-ounce) packet au jus seasoning
½ cup water

½ cup pepper juice from the pepperoncini bottle
½ cup (1 stick) unsalted butter

Place the chuck roast in the crock of a slow cooker.  Scatter the pepperoncini peppers around the meat.  Sprinkle the meat with the packet of ranch seasoning and au jus seasoning, then pour the water and pepper juice over the top.  Place the stick of butter on top of the meat and cover the crock.  Cook on low for 8 hours.  At the end of the cooking time, use two forks to pull the meat until chunks.  Serve with rice or mashed potatoes and drizzled with the cooking liquid.

Makes 4 to 6 servings