Shrimp Dip and Costco's Artichoke and Jalapeño Dip

Who has a girl's night out scheduled tonight?  I DO!  Wow, that was a little overenthusiastic.  I think I'm just so fed up with all of the bad dates I've been going on that I need some time with the girls.  We're going to drink, watch movies, and eat a ton of dip.  My friend has already promised me some super fabulous seven layer dip, so I had to figure out my contribution.

So, the shrimp dip is based on a recipe my grandmother handed down to my mother.  I have no clue where she got it from, but it's pretty darn delicious.  I tweaked it a little bit with some dill and lemon, but otherwise, it's the same darn thing.   The other dip I made is based on that luscious artichoke and jalapeño dip you can buy in tubs at Costco.  Alas, I don't have a Costco card, so I had to find another way to ease my craving.  I looked up the ingredients on the label, and knowing that they all go in weight order, I managed to pull off something pretty incredible.  I've listed the weights along with the approximate measurements, because honestly, the weights are probably more accurate.  Good excuse to go buy a cheap kitchen scale.  Totally worth it.

Shrimp Dip

6 ounces cream cheese
1 tablespoon fresh chives, minced
1 tablespoon jarred pimento, minced

1 tablespoon fresh dill, minced
1 cup sour cream
¼ cup finely chopped green onion
1 (4-ounce) can tiny shrimp, drained
2 tablespoons mayonnaise
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce

1 teaspoon lemon juice

½ teaspoon lemon zest

¼ teaspoon Tabasco sauce (or more if you like it spicy)

Blend together cream cheese, chives, pimento, sour cream, green onion, and shrimp. Add mayonnaise and Worcestershire sauce. Mix well. Sprinkle with parsley flakes.

Note: The original recipe called for 1 (3-ounce) package of cream cheese with chives and 1 (3-ounce) package of cream cheese with pimento. Both products have been discontinued, and the recipe above reflects appropriate substitutions.

Makes 8 servings

Artichoke and Jalapeño Dip

1 package cream cheese (8 ounces)
1½ cups shredded Monterey Jack cheese (6 ounces)
¾ (14-ounce) can artichoke hearts, drained (6 ounces)
½ cup mayonnaise (4 ounces)
¼ medium onion, cut into small chunks (2 ounces)
3 tablespoons pickled jalapeño slices (1½ ounces)
2 cloves garlic (¼ ounce)
1 teaspoon cornstarch (¼ ounce)
1 teaspoon sugar (¼ ounce)
1½ teaspoons lemon juice (¼ ounce)
1 tablespoon fresh dill (⅛ ounce)
Sea salt, to taste

Combine the cream cheese and mayonnaise in a food processor and process until smooth.  Add the remaining ingredients and pulse until mixed, but still chunky, or to desired consistency.

Makes 8 servings