The restaurant itself didn't open for lunch until right around 11:30, so we weren't the only ones prowling the sidewalk outside the entrance. When the doors finally swung open, we all paraded inside to form a line that filled the entryway. Slowly everyone was led to their tables, and we, pleasantly, received one near the front windows. Two waiters rushed to the table with homemade bread, butter, and Peter Luger's famous steak sauce in a ceramic boat.I think we disappointed the waiter by ordering hamburgers and tap water while other tables ordered steak for three, but he memorized everything and then hurried away to place our orders. I asked for a bacon cheeseburger, medium, with fries. We then spent the next twenty minutes staring at the bread basket, desperately trying to ignore the little voice saying "EAT ME".
When the burgers arrived, I was a little bit taken aback. The burger itself looked great, but the only vegetable on the plate was a slice of white onion. Where was the lettuce, tomato, pickles? I quickly asked the waiter for some foliage. His reply? "We only have wedges of lettuce." I couldn't believe it. A top steakhouse, and the waiter couldn't (or wouldn't?) bring me a leaf of lettuce. He did offer a slice of tomato, so I took him up on at least that part.
It was at that point that I inspected my plate more carefully. I had ordered french fries, but there didn't seem to be much on my plate. I counted...seven fries. Three dollars for seven french fries. That's 43 cents a fry. Maybe this place hasn't heard the economy is in the toilet, because that's not even close to being appropriate. And I've had much better fries.
The bacon I had ordered was not actually on the burger itself, but on the side. It was luxuriously thick, almost obscenely thick, and somehow managed to be crisp and chewy at the same time. It was fabulous. But it wasn't on my burger, and with the giant 1/2" slice of tomato I was brought, I didn't see how it could be put on my burger without making the sandwich so thick that I wouldn't be able to put my mouth around it. So the bacon became a side dish.
Somehow I managed to work my way through the burger. It was cooked more on the medium-well side, but still good. It tended to crumble as I ate it, which proved there was absolutely nothing but beef on my bun (no breadcrumbs, eggs, or other fillers). I finally had to peel the bun off the second half of the burger to make it through, because I had a plan. I was in a German restaurant with a dessert menu. You don't pass opportunities like that up.As I was waiting for my apple strudel mit Schlag (aka with amazingly thick and rich whipped cream), I surveyed the other tables. Most were eating huge T-bone steaks that the waiter cut into pieces and divvied out. But I was horrified when the waiter actually scooped up the grease (I'm sure they call it "juices") circling the plate and poured it over the steak pieces. Then he picked up a plate of what looked like cubed potatoes and started scraping them onto the individual plates. Only problem? The potatoes were pretty much burnt onto the bottom of the dish. And this was a $100+ dinner package. I had to turn away to stop my arteries and my wallet from screaming obscenities.
Luckily my strudel arrived and calmed me. The apples were soft but not mushy, and the pastry was crisp and flaky. The Schlag was like eating a cloud. Unfortunately I was totally stuffed, so I had to get the rest packed to go. Then we had to pay, which was an ordeal unto itself. (What kind of steakhouse doesn't take credit cards??? Is this a New-Yorkers-are-crazy thing??? In Dallas that kind of policy would last the two weeks it took you to go out of business.) Finally we were paid and done and out. Final thought? Bacon was good, strudel was good, burger was okay, but Five Guys is better, and I HATE snotty restaurants that think you have $100 in cash on you at all times.
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